Why Can’t Men Breakup in A Respectful Way?

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She says she is being honest but there is always another lie around the corner. I had the slow fade pulled on me a couple of times, but who cares? But these are usually guys who are average looking or unattractive themselves.

Please try to figure things out with your husband especially since you have children. I think a guy who does that is a coward and never loved the person in the first place.

5 Reasons Men Break Up With Women They Love

Page 3 of 5, 3,This post is actually in reaction to something samstyles said: Why do men so easily become so bitter and what makes them want to keep their heartache going by not getting past it. I'm beginning to think I must go for screwy men with extreme hang ups, but I do wonder if this kind of inability to move on and the need to feel they have control might be common amongst men. The guys, by contrast, forgive and literally forget. It's problematic because it very clearly gives the man the impression that they are never really forgiven for anything, and that the relationship is inherently doomed to fail because they can only accumulate mistakes and misdeeds, but never do anything to truly make up for them. Oh, and for the record samstyles, your ex's use of your children as a weapon against you is beneath contempt. You could be completely off-base, totally at fault for the breakup and simply playing the victim and I would have the same opinion. Whatever either of you did to one another has nothing to do with it-- the children are not responsible for what their parents do or do not do, and should not be made to suffer for it. I would like to think that our entire relationship was not a lie. Once you forgive someone, that issue is over. I know he was ashamed of his past, and probably angry at me for digging it up. I believe that when you truely know someone, the good and the bad, and still love them, then that is unconditional love. I feel like I did the natural thing at the time. I acted out of hurt and distrust when I broke up with him. It didn't take me long at all to miss him, and want to work it out. I did everything in my power to show him I loved him and that I would always be there for him. He put forth no effort at all after that. I expressed my feelings totally and I got nothing in return. He was already looking for the next partner. I then said that it would be best just to say our good byes now. At this point I hadn't seen him in over a month. I would invite him over and he would make an excuse as to why he couldn't come. After a day or two of no communcation, the rage came out in the messages, one minute it was how much he never liked me and how disgusting I was, the next he would say I love you, you know I do, sorry for being mean. This went on a cycle a few times. It was like even hearing the bad stuff was better than nothing at all. I had made myself sick over him and it was unhealthy for me to sit and listen and cry over it everynight. I am doing better now, but still dont understand how he could be soo good at making me think he loved me, then try to mess with my emotions like that. Had he put forth any effort, I'd still be with him. I believe in forgiveness and I believe people can change if they want to, but they have to want to. If I loved them, I think I would have ran into their arms instead of running away. I am pretty sure he was pushing me away on purpose. I did ask him when he was ranting one time why he was doing that. He said he had to do something to get me to believe he didnt want me anymore, but continued why do guys say mean things after a breakup ranting. The last words he said before I blocked him were: I'm sorry for being mean, ok. Like he wanted me to tell him it was ok for him to speak to me that way. I couldn't continue like that. I believe in soulmates and I believe in giving, going the extra mile, and unconditinal love. I also believe that people deserving of this, would be appreciative of it and realize what they have. I'm more of an evasive type, so those who antagonize drive me up a wall. Note that these types also like to have a scapegoat to convey their problems upon and their bitterness to avoid dealing with their woes. The behaviour you describe is pretty bizarre and I'm not at all surprised that you did not emerge entirely unscathed. It just seems like he felt like he had to create a false image of himself and convince you of it, or else the relationship was not good enough, because if you wanted him for what he really was, you would not be good enough. You should really try to control your emotions and not allow yourself to feel anything about this person, really stop thinking about him at all. It's not your responsibility to nurse every bird with a broken wing out there, and certainly not that bird. After that nonsense, though, it sounds more like you are the one that would need it. And don't start considering yourself messed up, desperate or any of that nonsense over this episode. Your difficulty is that you slid into a borderline-masochistic scenario because your emotions were so wound up into this individual that you were not perceiving his behaviour too clearly. It does bother me, but not much I can do about that. I can get along with almost anyone. I would like to still be friends and be able to chat. I cared alot for his kids and miss them too, but without some serious apologies, I can't see us ever speaking again. I spent 1-3 years with the kitten. I know shit has hit the fan and its over. I guess my forgiveness comes from having the need for forgivenss and also being taught to forgive in church. I just have to learn that forgivness doesnt mean allowing it to continue. Do you not believe that people make mistakes and sometimes need forgiveness. Maybe not as far as this situation goes, but I know marriages that have been through some really trying times and have survived the bad, forgiven their partners, and lived happily together. Their love didnt end because one goofed up or did something they shouldnt have. We all make mistakes and need forgiveness. Sometimes, you dont know what you have to till its gone lol but I see what your saying. And in making that decision, the only way to insure that it happens, is to put up a wall of defence for the time being. Ladies, my advise to you if you are in that why do guys say mean things after a breakup of situation, is to ignore it. And don't worry we eventually get over it in a matter of weeks, months, and in some cases. With that being said, I can understand the reasoning to lash out. I had lost something to but understood that I still cared for him. I was angry also, but handled it differently. What hurt me the most was thinking that he didn't consider it a loss. I think through reading all of these responses, I can safely say that he did value me to some degree or he would have had no emotion at all. I think by acting the way he did, he accomplished his goal of making me feel unworthy, unattractive, and unwanted. I would hold her jacket for her while she put it on, give her flowers, open her car door, let her sit down and eat first at dinner. I would let her choose the music, the movie etc. I why do guys say mean things after a breakup said a mean thing to her. Her comment once was you are everything a woman wants and looks for. Now that was just the preface. Its all out of hurt and anger. Men have a tendency when we are hurt to talk out of anger bitterness and hurt. Its our way of dealing with things. And we do it because its our way of getting back at the women that break up with us. I have a rule if you cant be honest and froward with me from the start then you wont be down the line and just move on cause I wont live like that. I like to think people are good, and dont mean to cause pain to another, but anger can be a strange emotion, people have been killed from it. You get angry and easily agitated. I have a feeling I ain't heard the last of her yet. Also, I had a realy cool guy from Italy explain to me why they get so mean if you leave them. You have taken away something from them that they have found extremely valuable. They look at it more in an objective way, that they owned you and now you have taken yourself away from them. So they are angry that they lost you, and they are angry at you. Examining topics through a gender feminist lens doesn't help matters much. He lied to me about so many things not kids, but alot and now 3 yrs after we broke up, hes still harrassing me and saying mean rude and hurtful things to me. He used to say these things and it would hurt me so badly because I thought he was the 1 person in the world who actually truly loved me. My ex even messaged 2 of my new boyfriends and told them a bunch of lies like i gave him gonerhea, i had vaginitis and i cheated on him, all of which are lies and they both ended up leaving me, and then when I asked him why he did those things, he said it was because he still loved me and he didnt want anyone else to have me. Yet, he was even talking to girls from my town about me and trying to lower my character and start rumors about me therefore ruining my life. That is not love, and to this day I am still trying to get over all the pain he caused me. If i were you I would cut this guy out of my life completely because believe me, theres nothing worse for your soul than verbal, mental abuse such as that and I know how much it hurts. I would hate to see anyone else go through that. I know i don't look at relationships the same way anymore. I know now I will no matter how much I care give even the tiniest bit of myself to anyone. Part of me really died when i did break up with this girl. I still had contact with him because- well hes my ex fiance, and I loved him, although we havent spoken months. He messaged my 2 new boyfriends when he saw them on my myspace page and messaged him. After he did it the first time, I still talked to him afterwards because he used to tell me he just did it because he loved me and didnt want them to have me. Then I stupidly put another boyfriend on my myspace and forgot my page was public and thats how he messaged my 2nd boyfriend.

You deserve to have a happy and fulfilled life. We all laughed and teased him, but the reality is that he was right, and this video shows how dangerous it can be for men. We still keep seeing each other but it was different. For some reason, having someone who smells like cheap cigarettes and cheaper gin shove their tongue down your throat helps with the healing process. He made me feel special, and I got deeper in love with him. He messaged my 2 new boyfriends when he saw them on my myspace page and messaged him. You should have a social life, she reminds. Well, during your relationship with your ex boyfriend were you constantly catching him check out other women?